What the Bible Says About Shame: 5 Biblical Steps to Freedom

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What If My Story Is Too Messy?

If you have ever asked that question, you are not alone.

I have asked myself that very question more times than I can count.

Recently, my husband and I had the opportunity to speak to a room full of teenagers about sex, purity, and sin. We shared our testimonies and then answered their questions about these topics in a panel-style format.

I was with the girls, and my husband was with the boys.

One of the recurring themes in the girls’ questions was shame—specifically shame tied to sexual sin

One girl anonymously asked,

“How do I overcome the shame of my past? I have repented and stopped, but I am struggling with the weight of my past sin. How do I forgive myself?”

Another asked, “I know my sexual assault wasn’t my fault. How do I let go of the shame around this happening to me?”

These questions broke my heart, especially coming from teenage girls. They were brave, honest—and heavy.

Part of the reason we were invited to speak that night is that my husband and I know this struggle firsthand. He battled pornography addiction for years. I experienced sexual abuse at a very young age.

We have felt and known the heaviness of shame in our lives. But we have also experienced the freedom of God’s grace in our lives.

The Weight of Sexual Sin

Many of us feel shame around our past sins, but there is another level of guilt and shame when it comes to sexual sin. 1 Corinthians 16:18 tells us that sexual sin is unique because it is the only sin we commit against ourselves.

Sexual abuse adds another layer—because someone committed that sin against you. That kind of violation is deeply traumatic and painfully confusing.

If that’s your story, please hear this clearly: what happened to you was not your fault. There is grace, healing, and hope available to you through Jesus.

I carried the weight of my own story for years. I believed I was too broken, too damaged, too dirty for God—or anyone else—to truly love me.

But once I allowed myself to experience His love for me and believe it was real, my whole life changed. My heart began to heal, and I now walk free from the weight of sexual sin. You can too.

Fear of the Past

For a long time, I was terrified to tell anyone who I was before Jesus changed my life. I looked around at all the church-going, Spirit-filled, golden-hearted Christians and thought:

“They’ve never messed up like me.”

I believed I was the only person in my Christian circle who had a past like mine, and I let the fear of my past keep me from sharing my testimony.

I was so afraid that they would think less of me if they knew who I used to be because I believed I was alone in my shame. I was afraid they would discount my gifts and my ability to serve the Kingdom.

My fear of being excluded overwhelmed me.

But I came to know that no one is perfect. Through confession and sharing my story, I learned that everyone has a past and we all need the grace of God.

Romans 3:23 reminds us, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

No one on this earth is without blemishes or mistakes they regret.

Lies of the Enemy

If you’ve been thinking the same thoughts I had—“I’m too messed up. I’ll never be whole. God can’t use someone like me”—let me tell you: those are lies.

His best weapon is to use lies to isolate us and make us feel alone.

That shame and isolation is not from God. It’s the enemy’s oldest trick—to make us feel alone and unworthy.

John 8:44 tells us that Satan is “the father of lies” and that “there is no truth in him.”

He will twist your past into a prison if you let him. But God’s truth breaks those chains.

What God Says About Your Past

God doesn’t define you by your past. If you are in Christ, these things are true about you:

You are a new creation — the old has passed away. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Your sins have been removed — as far as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:12)
You are cleansed and forgiven when you confess. (1 John 1:9)
Your sins are blotted out — faded away like a mist. (Isaiah 44:22)

Yes, earthly consequences may remain—trauma, broken relationships, legal consequences, and more. But your eternity is no longer defined by them.

In Christ, you have the strength (Philippians 4:13) to heal, restore, and walk in freedom. If you’re still feeling trapped by your past, the question is: do you believe what God says is true?

God Can Use Your Past for His Glory

The Bible is full of stories of sinners redeemed by God’s grace. He used their stories to encourage us even today, and we have the opportunity to do the same.

Matthew was a tax collector—corrupt, greedy, and hated. Jesus still called him to be a disciple and used him to write the Gospel of Matthew. (Matthew 9:9–13)
Paul persecuted and killed Christians. After encountering Jesus, he became one of the most powerful missionaries and wrote much of the New Testament. (Acts 9)
Rahab was a prostitute. She risked her life to protect God’s people—and became part of Jesus’ family line. (Joshua 2; Matthew 1:5)
Moses killed a man and ran away in fear. But God still called him to lead an entire nation to freedom and speak on His behalf. (Exodus 2–4)
The woman at the well had a complicated past with multiple relationships. Jesus met her right where she was, offered her living water, and she became one of the first to share the Gospel in her community. (John 4)

These are just a few examples of the way God uses people despite their past, and even uses the things that might bring them shame to reach the lost.

Their pasts didn’t disqualify them—they became part of their calling.

So if there’s something in your story you think disqualifies you from being used by God… that might actually be the very place He wants to use you most.

Your pain is not wasted. Your story is your platform.

Because of your past, you have experience and a capacity for empathy that others don’t. Because of your past, you have a ticket into the inner circles of imperfect people who need Jesus as much as you do.

If He can use these imperfect people despite their pasts, He can certainly use you. If He can use their pasts to further the Kingdom, He can certainly use yours.

How Do You Overcome the Shame of Sin

1. Confess Your Sin

The first step in beginning to heal from the shame of your sin is to confess that sin to the Lord. Bring it into the light so that you may be healed.

God already knows, so there is nothing to be gained from hiding it. The Enemy wants to believe you can hide and run from your sin, but this path will lead to death and decay.

1 John 1:9 reminds us of this promise: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

To heal from our sin, we have to acknowledge it and bring it to the Lord. His Word promises if we confess that He is faithful to forgive. We do not have to be afraid to bring the darkest parts of us before Him, because He will purify us from all unrighteousness.

2. Read His Word

If you’re battling shame, the Word of God is one of your most powerful lifelines. It’s not just a book—it’s living and active (Hebrews 4:12). It reveals who God is, what He has done, and what is true about you in Christ.

When you’ve been weighed down by the lies of shame—“I’m unlovable,” “I’m too broken,” “I’ll never be free”—Scripture is where those lies go to die.

The more time you spend in His Word, the more clearly you’ll recognize His voice over the enemy’s. You’ll begin to see that:

You are deeply loved (Romans 5:8)
You are fully forgiven (1 John 1:9)
You are not condemned (Romans 8:1)
You are chosen, holy, and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12)

Reading Scripture isn’t about checking a box or being a “good Christian.” It’s about letting truth wash over you until it starts to shape how you see God, your story, and yourself.

Start small. Pick a Psalm. Open to a Gospel. Sit with one verse if that’s all you can do today. Let God meet you there.

This is where healing begins—one quiet moment in the Word at a time.

3. Memorize Scripture

When shame speaks loudly, you need something louder.

That’s where Scripture memory comes in. It gives you truth ready on your tongue when the lies come rushing in.

Because here’s the thing: when you’re feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, or under attack, you don’t always have time to flip through your Bible or search for the right verse. But if you’ve hidden it in your heart, it’s already there—ready to fight for you.

Psalm 119:11 says, “I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”

This isn’t about perfection or memorizing entire chapters (unless you want to!). It’s about having a few verses that speak directly to your struggle—and saying them out loud when you need them most.

Try starting with one verse a week. Write it on a notecard. Put it on your mirror, your phone background, your dashboard. Repeat it when you’re brushing your teeth or putting your kids to bed. Let it sink deep.

Here are a few to get you started:

Romans 8:1 – “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
Isaiah 1:18 – “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”
2 Corinthians 5:17 – “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.”
Micah 7:19 – “You will again have compassion on us… You will hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.”

Let these be your weapons when shame comes knocking. Let them remind you of who you are—and whose you are.

4. Speak Truth Over Yourself

There is power in our words. (Proverbs 18:21)

The people who say that you should speak affirmations and declare your goals out loud are half right. You should be speaking the things you want to believe out loud, such as Scripture or any prophecies, or words of wisdom you have received.

Try physically saying things like “I am forgiven” and “I am a new creation” a few times a day. See how your perception of yourself changes.

Use the Scriptures above and make them your affirmations. Remind yourself of who God says you are-out loud. Daily.

5. Share Your Story

This one is hard—but healing. When you bring your story into the light, it loses its power to control you. And your testimony might be the very thing someone else needs to hear.

James 5:16 tells us, “Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

It is scary to share your past with others. You may even get some negative reactions, but know those are from hearts that need the love of Jesus. Your story is powerful, and it is needed.

Don’t be afraid, for your God will be with you. He will strengthen you and help you to share your story. (Isaiah 41:10)

If you’re struggling with shame today—whether from sin or something done to you—I want you to know:

You are not alone.
You are not disqualified.
You are not too far gone.

Jesus redeems. He restores. And He can use your story for something beautiful.

You just have to say yes.

Your Sister In Christ,