How To Lead an Authentic & Effective Small Group

Why Lead a Small Group?

Leading a small group of any kind is an incredible responsibility. It should be undertaken with great care, as you have the opportunity to encourage and influence the spiritual growth of other people. You will become a sort of mentor and example for the people in your group. It is important to decide what kind of example that is going to be.

At its heart, the point of any small group is to create community and encourage growth in Christ. You can do that even through a group that gets together for coffee once a week. It doesn’t have to be complicated, but it does take intentional discipline and forethought to be successful.

Don’t underestimate the power of the community you are creating. One of the biggest reasons people (and especially women) struggle with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues is the feeling of isolation and loneliness.

When we have more perceived social support, we feel less alone and like we have others we can lean on. When we are isolated, we begin to feel lonely, unloved, and unwanted.

This is the breeding ground for the lies of the enemy to take root in our lives. As a small group or bible study leader, you are creating a place for women to belong; a place for them to replace lies with truth and find encouragement and relationship.

This is your opportunity to show them the love of Christ and remind them that they are not alone.

So what do you need to do to have an engaging, authentic, community-building small group like this?

Let’s dive into what you need to know to lead a small group!

1. Have a Vision & Purpose for Your Group

Don’t just start a small group because it sounds like a fun thing to do. Your group should have a specific purpose and a vision behind it. This purpose and vision will inform all other decisions you make regarding your group, so take time to pray about it and seek direction from God for your group.

Having a specific demographic is also important. There should be some common denominator, such as age, stage of life, relationship status, etc. This will help your group members to form connections to one another and become more trusting. This will lead to more conversation and thus, more cohesion.

It is difficult to lead a group of people to an unknown destination. Know where you are headed and your group will follow.

2. Prepare Topics to Discuss

For conversation and connection to flow, you’ll need to give your group something to talk about. There are a lot of options for content for your group. If you are leading one within your church, you may have materials provided for you or a selection of materials to choose from.

If you aren’t being provided materials, you have options. You can:

• Read through a book together;
• Study through a book of the Bible together;
• Discuss a specific topic (i.e, Identity in Christ, Anxiety, etc.);
• Choose an article or blog post to discuss each week.

You can find some awesome FREE options for materials & studies in my post 101 Free Bible Studies For Women.

Whatever you choose, have some basic discussion questions ready and allow the conversation to go from there. The content helps to facilitate the discussion but it is okay if you get off on a tangent or two. Just be sure to bring it back to center if it gets unhelpful or digresses too much. You be the judge on that.

3. Don’t Lead a Small Group Alone

It is possible you may have to lead on your own, but try to find someone to co-lead your group with you. There are a few reasons this is important. One is simple math. If you have two people leading, not all of the work is on your shoulders.

You have someone to lean on to host, to prepare content, prepare food and even lead alone if one of you is ill or needs to be absent. This allows for continuity and consistency in your group.

Another reason is for the sake of the group. When you have two leaders, there is a connection already present, and other members can feel safer because of the established relationship you have with your co-leader.

Connection combats awkwardness and gives the group an example to go off of. The way you interact with your co-leader will set the tone for everyone else.

4. Be the Example

Speaking of setting the tone, as the leader of a small group, you are an example for your members. If you are authentic, open, and transparent, your group will follow suit. On the other hand, if you are closed off and insincere, your group members won’t feel like they can open up and share their own hearts.

If you are asking a discussion question of your group, go first or ask your co-leader to go first. This helps to break the ice and show others it is okay to be vulnerable and share with the rest of the group.

You also set the tone for what is allowed in the group. How you respond to discord, conflict or uncomfortable silences shows others how to handle it as a group member.

When you respond lovingly to an overbearing personality, they will know that gossip & exclusion is not allowed in your group. When you are intentional about speaking with each person and not gravitating to only the members you know, this shows the group that cliques aren’t tolerated.

Your members will learn how to behave in your group from you (& your co-leader), so be intentional about what you show them.

5. Understand How Group Dynamics Work

Groups do not become cohesive, trusting units for quite some time. The first few weeks of your group may be awkward or a little weird while everyone is getting to know each other. Your group is NOT going to be best friends right away; you may have some people who do not click or get along and that is okay.

There are 5 stages to basic group dynamics. The first stages of your group will involve getting to know one another. The second stage will involve some sort of pushing of boundaries, conflict of personalities or challenging of norms within your group.

This stage is necessary in order to move the stage where connections begin to form and the group starts to form cohesion and trust.

I cover the last 3 stages in my FREE Guide to Leading More Authentic and Engaging Small Groups! Grab yours below! 🙂

6. Prepare Your Home for Guests

Plan for food and seating in your home to make sure people are comfortable. You don’t need to have a huge space with fancy food to have an effective meeting. All you need to do is be welcoming and genuine. People would rather sit on the floor in a welcoming space than be in a fancy, huge home with no hospitality.

You don’t have to serve a full meal every week either. My husband and I lead a group every Sunday night and we plan for a potluck-style meal.

We send out a text to our group that says something like: “How about Mexican food for tonight? We will provide taco meat, who has shells and toppings? Whose got drinks?” and everyone in our group pitches in.

This spreads out the responsibility and keeps you from paying for and cooking food for 15 people every week. It also prevents people from starving because all you served was coffee and cookies (Yes, I did that once. Oops).

7. Learn to Be Okay With Silence

There will be times of silence in your group. This is perfectly normal and okay. Sometimes people need a few seconds to mull over your question and form an answer in their mind. Some people (like me! ha) need to give themselves a quick pep talk before they become vulnerable in front of other people.

When there is silence, don’t panic. Look around the room, make warm eye contact and give them space to think.

If you look comfortable with the silence, it will help the anxiety they are likely feeling in the silence themselves. Give them about 30 seconds and if no one responds, call out a friend, your co-leader or offer your own answer to the question. You can also just move on. It might seem clunky and unfinished at first but if you just let it go, so will they.

You may have more silence in the first few sessions of your group. Do not be discouraged by this. It will get better as time goes on.

8. Prioritize Your Own Spiritual Growth

This is one of the most important things you can do for your group. As the leader, your group sessions are a time for you to pour into others. You cannot do this well if you have not filled yourself up with truth and light from God’s Word.

As you step into a leadership role, you become a bigger target for the enemy. You have the ability to help other women grow in their faith and be challenged to grow stronger in yours. Satan does not want to see you succeed in that endeavor. You will need to seek the Lord more than ever and cling to His truth.

Want even more guidance? Want tips on how to troubleshoot difficulties and hone your group facilitation skills?

Download my FREE Step-by-Step Guide on How to Lead a Small Group!

Are you leading a group or have a desire to? How have you been successful? What areas do you struggle with? Tell me in the comments!